Hey there! How are you? We’re right royally rollicking along—almost halfway through the project already, can you believe it?!
Today, we’re ripping into non-judgement, which is an area we can all work on—the whole world over.
Our families, communities, societies, and nations are getting torn apart—by judgement and competition, by violence, self-harm, and negativity.
It should be so simple as to say—there is no need ever, never, ever to be unkind to anyone. Ever.
Unfortunately, there’s never been any time in the whole history of the world where there hasn’t been conflict, of some kind or other.
So, we’ve got to bring the love.
kindness to self
I think it would be safe to say that there’s also never been anyone in the whole history of the world who hasn’t, at some time or other, suffered from self-doubt, negative self-talk, and feelings of regret, inadequacy, and/or failure.
Gosh, ain’t being human just delightful?!
Think of the things you say to yourself on a daily basis. Do you tell yourself you’re not good enough, smart enough, skinny enough, rich enough, motivated enough—fill in your [blank] enough here? Do you find excuses not to do something because you’re afraid it won’t work out? Do you call yourself stupid, weak, lazy, damaged?
Now, imagine it was your [mum, son, friend, partner] saying those things.
Would you believe it to be true?
Or would you tell them they’re amazing, beautiful, clever, capable, special?
So, why do we believe it of ourselves? Why do we let that rubbish stop us from being our true selves and doing what we want to do?
Centuries ago, Descartes said “I think, therefore I am.”
What absolute, complete, and utter hogwash! If we put that quote together with the Harvard study that said we spend 47% of our time lost in thought—that would mean half of our identity is locked up in regrets, worries, and self-doubts.
This is not the way we want to live.
I think, therefore I am not.
We are not our thoughts. Put that rubbish where it belongs—
In the rubbish!
Start the habit now—when you hear any of those negative thoughts creeping in?
Shut. Them. Down.
Gently—because non-judgement is kind and we need to be kind to ourselves. When we hear those thoughts a-creeping, we gently say “thank you, that’s enough now.“
I am enough.
like no other
When we’re little, we feel no judgement—no hate, or cruelty, or disrespect. Then, we toddle off to school and we’re taught to treat others the way we want to be treated.
But, it’s subjective—it becomes treat some others the way we want to be treated because there grows nasty bullying and popularity contests and friendship feuds.
And, things are never the same after that.
You often say, “I would give, but only to the deserving.” The trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pastures. They give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish.”
~ Kahlil Gibran
Oh, it’s tricky, it’s tricky. Just like when we talked about gratitude being impossible to find in certain situations, kindness can be equally as slippery.
We, none of us, are angels. This isn’t about loving everybody or understanding everybody or serving everybody.
It’s about acceptance.
Accepting that everybody on the planet is just trying to live as well as they can for as long as they can.
There is no other—only us.
Gibran’s quote is an important one to consider. Not that we should be expected to give freely to all, as is suggested—that’s just not realistic.
But, our world is in a state of otherness—of take, take, take what is mine.
Yet, our survival relies on giving. When we bring tiny baby humans into the world, we give with everything we’ve got to make sure they’re safe and healthy and happy.
We need to question—
Where does our judgement come from? Is it serving us or disabling us?
How can we overcome it?
root to rise
We can look at this two ways—we need to ground ourselves in order to rise (which sounds a bit contradictory!) and we also must root for others to rise.
If our success comes at the expense of others, it is no success—there are no others.
Life is not a competition.
So, what do we need to ground ourselves in? Just like the foundations of a house keep it strong and steady—what gives us our strength?
Maybe, grounding is literally putting down roots somewhere, the house and suburb we live in?
Perhaps, grounding is the people we surround ourselves with?
But, those are both external—they’re like the beams of the house, the support system.
Our grounding, our foundation is within us—and I think it’s within our truth.
Our truth of who we are.
That truth lies beneath all the rubbish we talked about earlier—all the negativeselfdoubtbaloney that our minds treat us to every day.
And, again, I just want to say that if you hear thoughts of self-doubt and insecurity, you’re not alone—we all hear them. We all need to drown them out and get to our beauty, our truth.
How do we drown them out? Easy—community.
We bring all our voices together and root for everyone to rise.
And, when we’re feeling strong and solid in our foundations, it’s really easy to root for everyone to rise.
We have a habit of looking at people around us and thinking that our dream life is just out of our reach—and if we think it’s just out of reach, then we don’t need to really try because what’s the point?
The point is—it’s not! It’s not out of reach, that is not our truth.
Life’s not a competition.
Those people who are living their dream lives? They’re doing it because they’re doing it. And their success doesn’t come at our expense.
There really is enough to go around.
Think about the doubts that you’re struggling with—the doubts that are taking your truth from you.
Have you ever stopped yourself from trying something or doing something that you really want to do because you’re like—well, so and so’s an author/entrepreneur/teacher/[insert your dream here], so I can’t be.
Not true! How many singers are there in this world? How many brands of shampoo? How many food outlets?
They all survive and thrive because there are billions of people in this world, all with different tastes, wants, and needs.
If what we want to do is already being done by someone else (and chances are, it is or it has—billions of people, thousands of years, and all)—hallelujah! At least we know it can be done—we just need to go out and find our audience because there ain’t no way that that someone else is servicing every single person on the planet.
Where there are people, there is always a way—and there are always people.
We just need to find our way—of creating our opportunity out of what we have and where we are. And where we’d like to be.
We’ll talk more about this tomorrow.
Could we start, very gently, to dare to dream?
And root to rise?
Enjoy your day.