I had an epiphany when I was in the shower this morning.
Best place for epiphanies.
I was thinking about what my day had in store for me and, honestly, I just couldn’t rustle up any enthusiasm for it.
Now, when I tell you what I’m [procrastinating] doing today, you’ll say—well, d’uh. Who would have enthusiasm for that?! And, you’d be right—but, not for the reason you might think.
So, I’m prepping my PhD application.
I completely agree with you and my fairly-recent-past-self would say what the actual … ?! She wouldn’t even remotely believe that I’m doing what I’m doing.
Or not doing!
The thing is—it’s not the PhD part that I’m lacking mojo for. Nor the application part. Or the prepping, for that matter.
It’s the fact that everything I’m doing right now isn’t for right now. I won’t know if I’ve been accepted until March. And, I won’t start the darned thing until October next year.
Boo hoo—first world problems, right?
Oh, yes—I know!
The speed that time travels (hint: warp), next year will be here before we know it, but here’s the epiphany [finally!]—
It’s really hard to get excited about things so far in the future.
So, why do we do it with life?
Finish this sentence—
All will be well when …
Do you say this to yourself? Do you give yourself indicators, benchmarks, goals to be ticked off a list for a time when you will have it all together? All your ducks in a row?
I think we all do this, right?! Place our well-being in the future basket because everything’s just not quite perfect right now.
If it’s dang near impossible to get jazzed about a PhD application that’s not going to pay off for another year, stands to reason that, if all our wellness goals are future-oriented, are we going to be pumped to pursue them now?
That would be a hard no.
What’s the answer?
No idea—but, it might have something to do with acceptance? Accepting where we are right now—and taking action that our present selves can benefit from and our future selves are grateful for?
Regardless, one thing is for sure—the action has to happen now.
Realise deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life.
~ Eckhart Tolle
Enough with the procrastination. I’m off to write a PhD application—well, I’m off to hang the washing out [some procrastination is necessary] and then I’ll write a PhD application!