In my happiness journal last night, I actually wrote—
I know I’ve said this before, but—TOMORROW. Tomorrow, life changes. Enough’s enough.
Ha! Right? Have you ever said this to yourself? Or the better question might be—
How many times have you said this to yourself?
I know I’ve said it before—already admitted as much. How many times? Golly knows—too many to count!
What’s it about? What changes tomorrow? Why does it need to change? What’s enough?
For me, it’s—
- Paralysing self-doubt.
- Overwhelm at the state of the world, that leads to—
- Incredible procrastination and general faffing about.
- Limiting beliefs about money and what my work is worth.
- Fear. I can’t really tell you of what, which makes it even more ridiculous. Fear of not making it—whatever it is? Fear of not making an impact, maybe? Fear of speaking this truth because who am I to wish to impact others when I have these doubts about myself?
And, when I say enough’s enough, I know that’s not enough. There’s no magic switch to suddenly turn off faff and fear.
Oh, if there were?!
There is [I hope?!!] learning to live with those parts of ourselves that are less than convenient. Hello, human! Waking up and saying—
Hey—there are going to be doubts today. Limiting beliefs. Fear-induced faffing. But, they are not going to stop me from doing what I want to do. I will find a way around the doubts, over the beliefs, through the fear. I’m going on a bear hunt. I’m not scared?! I am scared. That’s okay, I’ll do it, anyway.
So, that’s where I’m at—line reached. Sick of being my own worst enemy and keeping myself from leading the life I want to lead. Which is one of the biggest realisations—we tend to think in terms of all the things that are holding us back, all the things keeping us from where we want to be. Yes, there are some external factors that are out of our control, but, for the most part, we are the things holding us back.
This is my dedication to you—
I’m going to take the bull by the horns and use this site, and this blog, as a space to share the journey of wellness—in all its forms. The truths we see and those that lie deep within.
This was originally going to be a research project and that’s what it will, in time, become—when I figure out how! I’ve [reluctantly?!] made peace with the fact that research and I, while we speak very different languages, have crossed paths for a reason. I think this is that reason—for us to create a library of wellness tools that we can all use to transform our life stories.
Stories that will not be dominated by doubt and inaction and fear.
Stories that are full of almighty love and light.