Do you know what I just discovered?
I have a lot of excuses.
Excuses for why I do things and, [way!] more often, why I don’t do things.
And it’s made me realise this—
The foundation of wellness is self-worth.
If we really, truly care about ourselves, why do we deny ourselves what we need to be happy, content, well?
Do you deny yourself?
Golly, I do.
Deny myself of an independent business because [here comes the excuse] I’m not brave enough.
Deny a relationship because I don’t have enough to offer yet.
Deny a revitalising yoga practice because I don’t feel well [ironic!].
Deny myself the opportunity for happiness and contentment and wellness because I’m not successful or a mother or self-sufficient or good enough or [insert your excuse here] or—
There it is.
My wellness is not as it should be because I don’t treat myself as if I’m worthy of it right now.
Maybe, someday in the future when I have my shit together, but not—
The monkey [monster!] mind
Why do we beat ourselves up so much?
Actually, that should say—
Why do our minds beat us up so much?
And, I don’t say we because I’m assuming that we’re the same—I say we because I know that I’m not so special as to be experiencing this alone. Of course, our experiences are very different—our minds are very different. Your monkey may be well trained by now—if it is, please share the secrets of your kind mind!
So, this morning I came across a quote (thanks to Glennon Doyle’s Instagram post)—
You have no idea how far out of my comfort zone my entire life is.
~ M. Groff
This hit home for me because I’m an introvert who is being constantly called to the outside [the dark side!].
Of course, so far I’ve kicked and screamed and denied and excused myself!
But, introvert or extrovert, life is fricken hard.
We’re wandering around this big (but, actually, little), old planet, with no idea who we are, how we got here, why we’re here, or what on Earth we’re doing (literally).
Life is hard
We need to acknowledge that we’re doing the best we can [we’ve never done this before!] and give ourselves a break.
Which sounds like another excuse, but I think we’re allowed this one!
If we’re ever going to truly be happy, content, and well, we first need to absolutely believe that we’re worthy of it, and that means saying—
You know what? Life is hard and we’re doing just fine.
It means turning round a lifetime’s worth of habits and judgements and self-criticisms—a lifetime’s worth of excuses that cause our self-doubts and limiting beliefs to drown out all the good stuff.
A lifetime’s worth.
Just one question—
How the frack are we supposed to do that?!
I have no idea, but I’m going to start with mindfulness and with one step at a time.
And, the first step of mindfulness is taking notice—paying attention.
I’m not going to overwhelm myself with paying attention to everything [inviting the excuses as to why I’m not good enough to pay attention to everything!], I’m simply going to pay attention to how I talk to myself. That’s all.
Will you join me?