a museful doubt

Hey muses, how are you?

The other day we talked about success and how we need to root for others to rise.  How another person’s achievement doesn’t mean that the success boat has sailed and we weren’t on it—that the success train hasn’t left the station.

There is no quota.  There’s plenty to go around.  There’ll be another train in five minutes.

Where does this attitude come from?

Partly the fact that school/work/life/being human seems to have such a competitive nature—for some ridiculous, completely unnecessary reason?!

And, I think the other issue is that we’re so darned self-doubtful—which probably comes from all that competitiveness, and the fear of losing face … or worse?  When we doubt ourselves, it’s hard to look at others’ success and not be a little (or a lot?) envious.

out your doubt

What do you reckon?

I know, from my own life experience, self-doubt has reigned supreme—not that I’ve ever admitted to it.

Even as I sit here writing this post, I’m questioning why?  What if nobody reads it?  Oh my golly, what if somebody does read it?  What do I have to say that’s going to be of any use to anyone?

If you’re reading this, thank you and I’m sorry—I hope something useful is coming!

I’ve recently quit my office job—I want to say to run headlong into my dreams, but it’s more like tiptoe ever-so-gently in the direction of doing something meaningful with my life.

I’m equal parts motivated and absolutely shit scared.

Tomorrow, I have my first meeting with a school to discuss [hopefully!] doing some wellness workshops with the students and holy smokes!  Am I questioning what the hell I’m doing?

You betcha!

Golly, save those poor, dear children from me, right?!

doubt means don’t?

I once heard Oprah say doubt means don’t and that’s a mantra I’ve surely lived by.

Arriving in a tiny town for a new job and just not feeling right?  Doubt means don’t.

Staying in an apartment after an earthquake?  Doubt means don’t.

Getting a new tattoo?  Doubt should mean don’t.

Writing this post—doubt means … ?!

It’s a solid mantra to live by, but now I’m questioning it.

I don’t think it’s especially doubt that means don’t—I think it’s an intuitive, gut instinct that means don’t, but pure doubt?  If we let doubt mean don’t, we’ll never do anything!

doubt

Doubt.

Revelation, right?!  This was posted on Instagram yesterday and it threw me for a loop.  How did I not see this earlier?

When I said I was questioning doubt means don’t, I’m meaning just since yesterday!

It was posted by @chopracenter with the following words—

Don’t fear mistakes. To be human is to be imperfect. Remember that if we never made any mistakes, we would never learn anything new. Today, think of one thing you’ve always wanted to do, but you’re worried you would make a fool out of yourself. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to travel to an exotic country, but you’re nervous about not knowing the local customs and language. What is one step you can take today towards that goal? When you’re able to laugh at your imperfections and mistakes, you grow by leaps and bounds every day.

Obviously the example they use is pretty specific and won’t relate to everyone, but [insert your doubt/s here?!].

What’s your doubt?  I’ve been trying to figure out mine.  I’m not afraid of making mistakes or looking [and writing!] like a fool.

I think my biggest self-doubt is that I’ll try to start the wellness workshops and it won’t work out—that I’ll have to go back to the daily grind.

I think there’s also some nervousness that I’ll step out into the unknown and it won’t be what I expected it to be?  I do change my mind occasionally.

Here’s what I know, but I’m still working on really believing—

  1. If the dream doesn’t work out, then it’s not the dream.  It’s just a step along the way.
  2. But, really, come on—supporting community wellness is the dream, always has been, so why doubt that?  What exactly that looks like might change, but you just never know until you try.  Another step along the way.
  3. You’re never going to have to “go back”—not even remotely possible.  Onward and upward.   All steps along the way.
  4. Doubt can mean do (not always—must be assessed on a case-by-case basis!).  If you do and it doesn’t work out, then it doesn’t work out.  If you do and it does work out, doubt be damned!

It’s a lot easier said than done, but small steps.  Baby steps.

What are you doubting and how can you out your doubt?

Turn your doubt into do?

Give me a bell if you need a hand.

Be well,

xx

 

4 replies »

  1. I’m stepping out too and starting a blog, and also returning back to graduate school to become a counselor. I find we must cling to the good in all instances, and doubting is no good. In failures, there are hidden blessings. In losing critics, including ourselves, there is good. In allowing ourselves to just be in the good, and in the bad, is good. I learned all this in many years of therapy, in order to put my coulda, shoulda, woulda self to rest. I was doubting in reverse, which could be the worst, (there’s that inner critic) but I say all that to encourage you to be free. Use your voice to reach others and whether it reaches anyone or not, you can’t say you didn’t try. Be brave, be fearless. We need more truth tellers!
    Please check out my blog BelovedinHissight.com if you have time.

    Like

    • Good for you, that’s really exciting 🙂 Truth tellers—I like that! So much of this world, the media, social media, is about glitz, glam and “perfection”—the more people who are leading and teaching from a place of realness, of experience, the better 🙂 xx

      Like

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